One of my uncles has recently endured an amputation of his leg after a near fatal blood clot. I was very impressed and humbled by his positive attitude and huge effort at participating as much as possible in the goings on around him. This is a man who has commanded respect and been in control for much of his life. My aunt and uncle have been blessed after years of hard work with financial security, fine material goods and a beautiful (actually, spectacular!) home. It struck me though, that none of this mattered when he was told he would lose his leg; that he would have a "new normal" and that his life would be altered forever.
I also witnessed this in my Dad with the inevitable breaking down of body parts as we age. He has had a rough year and he too deals with many physical issues with never a complaint. He has had to give up so many things yet he doesn't seem to resent it at all. He just keeps working harder to see if maybe he can one day get to golf again with his buddies or get in the pool for a swim. Even with almost no range of motion in his arms I peeked in his room in the morning and saw him exercising with great effort but not giving up. He HAD to have been frustrated beyond belief but he kept working.
My Mom too has physical aches and pains after some broken bones but never once did she complain or act grumpy that she had house guests and extra work to show us warm hospitality. She smiled sweetly and made excuses every time I asked her if she was hurting, but I knew.
The unusual medical circus we live in at our house includes a not unsubstantial amount of pain and suffering but there is never complaining about it. I see now. It is obviously a genetic thing this handing down of the no-complaining gene! I watched my Uncle, my Dad, my Mom and my Aunt (with intractable headaches) all serve my son and I with warm hospitality even in their difficult circumstances. What a lovely thing.....to serve while you are hurting. Sacrifice, service, love, laughter.....life.
On that note I must tell you why I love my husband of 28 years. I know, I know...mushy, mushy. Maybe we are a bit different or weird or something, but what means love to us is not the T.V. commercial mumbo-jumbo. In our home one of our many traditions is Egg Nog beginning the first day of November. The kids all start begging the last week of October hoping I will cave in and buy that yummy, creamy, spicy treat...but noooooooo I remain strong and set in cement that the day is November 1st. After all, that's what's so fun about traditions, the anticipation!! So, while I was gone the first week of November, Ed bought the coveted Egg Nog but told the kids the family could not have any until I got home and we had it together. He picked us up at the airport last night and on the way home told me this. I was struck by the kindness and respect for me he demonstrated to the kids.
No flowers, no diamonds, no candle light dinner could have reflected his love more than this gesture. Life happens in the little things. It is in the service of others, the respect, the working together as a family that makes life what it is. This brings me to my favorite magazine. It is a treat just to open it. "Seeing the Everyday" is it's name and there is an accompanying website www.seeingtheeveryday.com .
Here is my favorite quote from this lovely treasure of a magazine.....
Seeing The Everyday
And work at it all
again the next day.
To build relationships,
develop character, find joy….for the price
of our time.
Life’s most essential
possibilities are realized at home.
Where we share, teach,
grow, learn, serve, give our best without
praise or fanfare.
In the development of a
person.
Nothing is really
routine….To all who see The Everyday.
Blessings~ Lisa
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