Doctors Are People Too

I am good at a few things but what I am exceptionally good at and it is my primary talent.......

 Being a patient and the mom of many patients. Aren't you super impressed?? With this talent I live in doctor's offices, hospitals, operating rooms, infusion centers, pharmacies and labs. 

I did not ask for this talent. 

I do not resent this talent. I accept it like I do all of God's gift's to me.

I don't normally whine about it although every once in a while I do sniffle and feel sorry for myself.

I often laugh about my talent, am quite proud of it but I don't really have a way to show it off.

I share my talent with those who are new to the medical way of life and are shell shocked.

What I also do (with a raised eyebrow) is get very defensive about doctors. 

I do this because     1.)   doctors get bashed constantly and much of the time it is unfair    2.) I have several friends who are doctors so I have an insider's perspective.   3.)  There is a new movement that medicine is this covert operation by the government to hurt people.

Physicians are often misunderstood. Now mind you I am not in their social or economic class so please do not think I defend on that basis. We are SO not there in this family!  It is because we live in the same medical world with them. We speak the same language and spend waaaaay too much time together that I have any knowledge at all on this subject.

I realize there are stinker doctors. I know there are arrogant, rude, know-it-all jerks who deserve a smack-down. We call them god-doctors with a small "g".  They fancy themselves as god and they are scary. I have met them, I have been put down by them and I do not return to their offices. I have wanted to run from them while in the hospital under their care. I have had them taken off the care of my children because I didn't think they had their best interest at heart, so I know what it is to come face to face with a stinker.  I am not a ninny who is blind regarding an unkind physician who doesn't care about humankind.

However, most physicians are good folks. They chose this field because they want to do something good, to help people, to make the world a better place, many feel called to a life of service and sacrifice.

Do they get disillusioned? Do they get beaten down? Do they become exhausted and over worked and tired of the governmental and hospital administrative cogwheel that beats them down?  Oh, you bet. I know enough physicians and have enough friends that are physicians and let me tell you it's not what it's cracked up to be from the outside.

Physicians do want to change the world and make it a better place and they do have that power but they are also just people. They are not God, they are not magicians. They cannot make everything disappear with a pill or scalpel. Antibiotics do not cure every ill nor does the latest homeopathic remedy or vitamin. Medicine is as much art as it is science. 

Dr. Robert Lester III
It's ridiculous I can't even find a professional picture of Dr. Bob.

Only flying ones...he'll like that!  That's Mike with him.

Our wonderful amazing pediatrician taking the kids flying. Before your jaw drops, he shares this plane with several other doctors!  He is a good friend and great physician. He is however obsessed with flying. The kids could be turning blue and he would somehow get flying in on the conversation!! Sorry Bob!

Did you know a doctor has bad days? This sounds stupidly obvious, but if you go for an appointment and it has gone sour does that ever enter your mind as you leave madder than a hornet? His kids get sick, his family has hardships, he has stresses just like you do. He may have elderly parents who are ill. My friend who is a pediatrician would be on call all night, see little patients all morning, run to the hospital to see his elderly mother and have lunch with her on his lunch break, then back to the office for patients all afternoon then rounds in the evening. After all that he goes home to his family (a wife and 3 kids) so he can be on call all night again....then start all over again a few hours later. 

When should he spend all his so-called riches??? People do not often think about how a physician makes their income, how it feels to lose a patient, how it feels to make a human mistake.

Really....think about this for a minute. I am a Mom. I believe this is the most important job in the world. I form the hearts and minds of my children every day. If I make a mistake all I have to do is say sorry. If I am a pediatrician and write the wrong dose of meds or if I am a surgeon.... a neurosurgeon or a cardiac surgeon and I make a mistake......ummmm now what?  Human beings make mistakes right?  Not in the U.S. that means a lawsuit folks. It isn't just sorry, I made one mistake. Sorry your child is dead or handicapped, and even if it isn't that serious it is a huge deal. Think about the pain and guilt of the physician. Most folks don't make it that far. It's doctor bashing and many times a legal issue because of the ridiculous world we live in. Remember this is his or her job. Do you EVER make a mistake at your job???  It is not easy being a physician. 

Not all doctors are rich. Take a primary care physician.They may have more income than you but their college loans (not just 4 years folks), malpractice insurance, insurance premiums for their employees (and their own families), and overhead in general for even a modest practice would shock you. They get paid at an outrageously lower level than a specialist yet they are generally the air traffic controller of the same patient which requires a great deal of work (that is not reimbursed) behind the scenes. They do all the work before and after the patient sees the specialist with a tiny fraction of the pay. I live in this world daily, I get the bills...it is truly financially unjust in many ways.
Plus they are the hands-on, familiar face the patient knows and trusts when they are concerned, frightened, angry, etc. 

We also know many specialists, some the top in their fields and we have some awesome ones. Our hero is our neurosurgeon, the one pictured below. This surgeon sacrifices for his patients monetarily and with his reputation as he fights for their care at the hospital where he works and at other institutions across this country. He creates teams of doctors to work on patients others are afraid to work on because of our rare disorders. He has fought in courtrooms for parents who have lost their children, he has paid for life flights for patients who couldn't afford it, he consulted with a doctor in China for one of my pediatrician's nieces at no fee. I could write a book on his charitable works.  He would wave his hand and tell me to shut up in his Italian accent!  I smile just writing that.

 He is an amazing man. He has a sense, a gut feeling about things that is super natural. He has operated on our family more than 20 times and has yet to be wrong. It is uncanny. This takes a dedication, a sacrifice that leaves him missing many things in his and his family's life. He is constantly at the hospital and in the O.R. He travels the world teaching at conferences. He answers e-mails 7 days a week and I have received them at 2 or 3 am ! This time he takes is not paid.

Love this man.  Dr. Paolo Bolognese

His dedication and sacrifice has changed the lives of several of our children....

And myself

Yes, he's nuts. This is after our daughter Mary's surgery. She's in ICU and there seems to be a party going on!

 He loves the kids and always entertains.

The man thinks outside the box for his patients because we have diseases that are rare. He gets what he calls the "train wrecks". People who have multiple disorders and diseases that are very complicated and they have been misdiagnosed for years. Many have been operated on by those who did not understand their complexities and have become much worse by the time they get to him. He will sit and listen because he knows people need him. For him to sit is particularly funny because he is super high energy. He doesn't even know how to walk, he run-walks everywhere. It's really scary to think he's in the O.R. for such long periods of time as a brain surgeon. Our last 2 neuro surgeries on our twins were 9 hours and 13 hours!! How he manages that with his crazy energy is miraculous. He has the concentration of...well...a brain surgeon!

Being a doctor in today's world also requires amazing patience. People come in after having been on the internet thinking they know exactly what they have. There is a depth to medicine that takes years of training to understand. Folks will get labs back and look up a high or low level and think they're seriously ill when the level means nothing. Levels are compared to other levels. They mean something only in light of something else.  The biochemistry of the body is complex and changes depending on many variables. No computer can give the answers. A physician must compete with what a patient thinks they know, having to explain why their new found knowledge is incorrect, putting the patient on the defensive. Is this a difficult or arrogant doctor?  No.   Information is wonderful but patients go in with their pistols drawn ready to shoot. The poor doctors are immediately on the defensive these days as are the patients when they walk in! It's rough out there.

Our family lives in the medical world constantly. In fact I am writing from Hematology/Oncology at Seattle Children's right now.  Our doctors here as well as our wonderful pediatrician, family doc and our specialists back east go out of their way to make our lives better, easier, funnier. They do special things for us, call us from their homes, bring us things from trips, email us and check on our family. I could go on and on. I get so weary of doctor bashing. Maybe the old saying "You can catch more flies with honey then vinegar" should be considered by more families.  Well....and bring baked goodies or a little treat to appointments!  I do understand there are stinkers but let them go and find the good guys. 

I could write an entire book on the amazing things doctors do for patients. They're everywhere in your city, in your town, in your doctor's office. It's sort of like soldiers......They don't talk about their good deeds, they don't advertise it. They just do it. Every day.  

Try going in to your next doctor's appointment with a huge smile, a cute joke, ask about the doctor's family. Don't assume he's God, don't assume she knows everything. She wants to help you.  If she is rude or short you might want to try again just in case it was a bad day and something in their life was difficult maybe a death or divorce or their own health problems. If there is a second bad impression go somewhere else.  I do recommend though that you write a kind but firm letter about why you are leaving. I say kind and firm because this will help you feel heard and it may help the next patient. It's important. 

Get references from friends. The best ones are from nurses. They know doctors from the inside out. If you know any ask their opinion. They know how doctors treat patients and how they treat their nurses.....very important. Nurses know what goes on behind the scenes and this says a lot. If a nurse (and even better a few nurses) likes a physician you know they are good.

Please remember what you perceive as a physician's life is not what it is in actuality. Try and really think about what medical school, residency, being on call all night or many in a row, daily rounds at a hospital, 13 hour surgeries, missed holidays, missed birthdays, etc. really is for dedicated doctors. The 8-5 hours your family doctor sees you is only a fraction of his or her work day folks ...only a fraction! Yes, they may enjoy higher salaries but there is a price to be paid not only by them but by their families. 

They save our lives. They save our children's lives.They are the ones we anxiously wait for while our loved ones are in the O.R. They are the ones who we call when our babies are sick in the middle of the night and we are in a panic. Let's appreciate them more and bash a little less.

~Blessings~

Lisa

Hitting...A Hard Title

I want to write this post in a sort of vacuum. I would like it written and read not as a finger wagging post nor as a "look how terrible these parents are" post. I really am still trying to find out why a certain behaviour is so common among parents in this country yet so ineffective. 

What drives it? What compels parents to believe it works? Why is it acceptable within a family yet not in the workplace or in society? Why is it legal one day and considered assault the next? Is it defended by Holy Scripture? Is it always wrong? Is it always right? 

Hitting. 

Not spanking a small child on the bottom.

Hitting an older child or teen or young adult.

Hitting. Shoving. Badgering. Insulting.

Are you angry yet?

Many of you are.

Is your heart beating faster? Is it because you are the hitter? Or is it because you have been hit?  Is it because this wounds you or because you feel justified in striking another person because they "belong" to you?

This interests me because I grew up with a parent who has never yelled at me even once. I was never hit by my Mom who had amazing self control always. I have many other posts about speaking to children if you're interested.  I am truly interested in this subject because I don't "get it". I do not wish in this post to criticize per se.  I am not going to address all the questions above, only some. I will not get into the Biblical issues regarding spanking as that is a never ending mess. I will address more later but today I talk about the self control exerted at will. I use the word "child" here to mean around
8-18 years. So here we go.

If you sit on the outside like a spectator and watch the last confrontation you may have had with your child that ended in a slap or push or hit, what did that look like?  What did it sound like from the outside in your new observer seat?

How would it have sounded to a kind, older neighbor? How would it have sounded to your pediatrician or Pastor? How about your child's teacher?

What was your demeanor that day?  Were you having a good day or bad? Were you over booked, over worked?  Were you in a hurry?  Was your confidence low, your self esteem attacked by someone else? Was there something or someone else who already had your blood boiling? Remember..... turn off your defensive mode as you read.

Does this child "push your buttons"?

In this same day would you have spoken to your spouse the same way? Would your spouse have also been hit?  Would your Mother-in-law have been hit? Your best friend?  Your boss?  Your neighbor? The idiot on the road who cut you off? The old lady in the store who's cart was in your way?

The family is getting ready for church on Sunday and there is chaos. Suzie cannot find her shoes, Johnny is fighting with Ben and your husband can't find his belt. You look like Attila the Hun and you're all late. Now the child who pushes your buttons says something rude that sets you off and you are DONE. What happens next?

What is so very interesting is......

When that happens at work there is no slap. When it happens within members of the family that are not your children there is no hitting. When you get seriously mad, when you are so darn frustrated and angry you could just spit there is no slap.

Why?

I want to know this answer. It is an interesting sociological phenomenon.

But when you have had it, have been running all day, dinner is late, Johnny has said the wrong thing and you are in your own home with no prying eyes a slap or insult is easy.

Does it work? Do you get the result you want?

Does the child smile and say, "Okay, No problem" and skip off and do just what you wanted in the first place?

Then I suppose in theory it would be worth the hit or shove or slap. But does it?

I really, really want folks to sit back, put on different eyes and see the situations when this happens and ask different questions and see if this behaviour works and if it doesn't, what does it produce? What would it produce in you if it happened to you today?

Do you know you can slap, shove, hit a 17 yr old kid and it is perfectly legal as long as you do not leave a mark, but on the day of their 18th birthday it is a crime? It's assault and rightly so. Now does that make any sense at all??  Behaviour that can get you arrested one day is acceptable the day before?  Hmmmm. Something to think about.

For this moment, don't get mad, don't feel guilty. Think logically about if this works and if it does not. Think why you do it to your child and why you do not do it to everyone else you know. That you have self control for everyone else but not them. Is there common sense in this to an outsider from another planet who is watching this behaviour?  That we would hit, shove, slap those we love the most, those who we would NEVER allow anyone else to harm?

 What IS this mechanism?

It is a very interesting thing to ponder.

~Blessings~
Lisa

A Thankful Hair Day

This is a silly reason for a thankful day but it led to many other "thankfuls" as I played in the mirror.

I have had 3 brain surgeries in 9 months. I have had hair that at best looks like the back end of a raccoon. I mean it has not been good folks. Well today my super fun friend Gayle and I are going to breakfast and on a whim as I was drying my hair, I pulled out a brush and tried to sort of roll under the bottom (which is maybe 1 1/2 inches long by now) which couldn't possibly roll under. 

But you know what?  It sort of.....rolled under....sort of and the rest sort of layed down.....and behaved!! 

 I sort of....have a hair style like a bob!!! 

I sort of....look like a girl!!!   

I am so happy!!  Yay me!

I ran and woke up the girls in my house and they were thrilled. Then I showed my twin 12 year olds and they pretended to be thrilled because they love me. I then dialed my husband and being so excited, scared him to death and he just wants to kill me because he thought I was dying or something. Ooops.

I can't wait to show Gayle when she shows up. I mean I am actually as cute as I can get at this point (which is not anything resembling cute but I don't care I have a style) !

I am seriously sick of having clippers anywhere near my head. After these surgeries I thought I was in the clear but nooo. I have had a few shunt malfunctions so they just shave a hole where the shunt is to do nuclear testing on it. Really??? Yeah, a nice hole on the side of my head. Grrrrr. So my nice husband fiddles with my hair to cover this up. He loves me that way.

So Oh Happy Day.  I have stumbled upon a style......

~Blessings~

Lisa

A Wedding Dress......Scary!

I don't know if you know this but you can put an expensive, fancy, older wedding dress in a washing machine! Holy cow!

Oh my gosh can you believe it?  I think my Mom is going to have a stroke when I tell her. Mom is the garment guru of the world. I was going to consult her when I began this process but she and Dad were in the middle of moving and I didn't want to bug her so I was brave. Oh my gosh I conquered it!

From the beginning. When I was getting married way back when, the dress I really loved was very expensive. I tried it on a hundred times but put my chin up like a good little soldier and my sister-in-law to be and I set out to find another beautiful dress just as wonderful but not so expensive. We found one almost as wonderful, totally different in style but quite lovely and for a great price so I bought it on the spot. I wanted it a bit more sparkly so did some beading and sequins and it was so pretty and I was happy.

Well, my Prince Charming in the mean time had gone to the original store and bought the first dress for me......sigh. I love that man. It was so stinkin' beautiful. He didn't know about the second dress.  Neither could be taken back. That was 1984.

Now, here we are in 2013 and our daughter-in-law-to-be is going to wear the second dress I never wore! Isn't that awesome?? Well, I thought it was safe all this time in a garment bag.....

NOPE. 

It was horribly yellowed and the lace was even BROWN. I couldn't believe it when we opened it. I thought it was ruined until I started researching it on the internet. I found out that because it was not stained from food or body stains and that  the discoloration was from the acidity of garment bag I had a chance of restoring it.  This picture was taken by my daughter to show a friend. I wish I had thought to take one that really showed the discoloration. It was terrible. That dress had been snow white.

I went to multiple dry cleaners around town and all of their reactions were bad. They shook their heads and said,"No way, it's ruined". I was not discouraged.

My first attempt from all my all reading was to soak it in BIZ the non- chlorine bleach soak product. I have used this for more than 25 years for kids stains and it is awesome and works well on  delicates too. I dissolved it in the tub in room temp. water. I submerged the gown but strangely, after about 1 minute a super strong ammonia odor appeared. It was awful and I was worried. Actually I was alarmed! BIZ has no ammonia in it and I could think of no evidence chemically why this was happening. I was concerned it was damaging the fibers of the fabric so I quickly got it out. 

I read several accounts of folks actually putting gowns in the washer on the super delicate cycle as long as they were not silk. I thought, "What the heck, it's in such bad shape from the acidity, all the dry cleaners I consulted told me no way, so what harm is there in trying??"

I took a Q-Tip with very diluted bleach and on the underside of the bodice lace, dabbed it on the brown part. It instantly turned snow white!! Good sign. So I put a very small amount of bleach in the washer. I ran the load and rinsed it a few times worried the gown would come out in shreds. 

It came out BEAUTIFUL!!!

It didn't damage it at all!! Let me tell you I prayed hard. I really wanted her to be able to wear that dress and she just loves it so the prayers were heard!  She's going to change it a bit taking off the sleeves and some other small changes. We have a seamstress who is going to do a bit of this and that and make it perfect for her. I am busy this evening putting more sequins and beads on it so it is just lovely. The day is going to be wonderful.  Whew!

~Blessings~

Lisa

But, But....You're so Pretty.....

I write that title with tongue in cheek totally!  

I am NOT little miss pretty at all but you'll see why I wrote it shortly and why it is so funny.

A few years ago, well quite a few years ago because I am getting old, we lost our last baby. We have lost 8. Yes, 8 precious souls in miscarriage. I had pituitary issues along with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome that went un-diagnosed for many years leading to hormone problems. Thankfully, we also had 8 healthy babies!  

After we lost Emmaline we were at the funeral home picking out a headstone. They were so gracious and donated a plot as they do for all babies. I thought that was the nicest gesture. It is in a beautiful part of the cemetery with a large heart stone where all the babies are. As we searched the catalogues for the perfect stone we were visiting with the gal who was lovely but quite the talker. It was fine but as we talked a light bulb came on. 

She was asking us how many children we had and we told her 8. As her eyes popped out of her head (not an unusual reaction for us) she said, "You know, I have this family on my loop where I live that take a walk every day and they all sing. We call them the Von Trapp Children. They carry sticks and chase each other around and scream and yell. They're all so cute." 

I hit Ed's leg under the table and asked where she lived and she said, "Oh, in so-and-so on such-and-such street". I smiled and told her where we lived and she said those are YOUR kids??? 

BUT.....BUT....YOU'RE  SO....P...P...PRETTY!    AND.....HE's....SO HANDSOME!  

All of this with an incredulous face!  It was the most hysterical thing EVER!  For such a sad reason to be there, it made our day. It was so darn funny. This poor woman, I mean what did she expect? A toothless, insane, ratty lady with a pot-bellied old ugly guy and snotty ragged kids?  I don't know. I don't think she did either. 

We had a lovely conversation, picked our stone with a beautiful picture of Jesus and an inscription. We put all our babies' names on it because we did not get to have all of their remains when each of them died. It was a true blessing. 

The other blessing was that we got to share with this gal that there are happy families and good men. She did not know we knew who she was in our neighborhood. She had terrible challenges, terrible things that had happened to her.  There are wonderful, holy, sacrificial men out there. Men who cherish and protect women and do not hurt them.  I happen to have one. She watched him. 

This was why she was incredulous as to why we would have so many children. Why would a woman put herself at such risk? This was all over her face. She had trusted and it had not gone well. It was why she was so prying and why we were not defensive towards her. She was wounded...badly.

 I am so glad it turned out to be so funny. And we really did laugh heartily together, we were there for 3 hours that day. I still just smile so big when I think back on it. It is still a really good memory of Emmaline's passing. The gal is not in our neighborhood anymore, the many scars on her face will always be there, the husband is in prison. I hope she is doing well and is blessed with a good life.

God is so good.

~Blessings~

Lisa

Boundaries

I have had a tough week....a very tough week.  This week has been the roughest week since the three week span in which we had three brain surgeries on three of us earlier this year.

Among a long and distinguished list of diseases I already have, another was added. This is not such a huge deal but the medicines for it certainly are. They are not benign drugs. In many ways they do more harm than the disease but there is no choice so they must be taken.  I have had to set up some boundaries so I can get through the several month period of adjustment to the meds. This makes me crazy because I want to just keep going, but this old body cannot push through this. The extreme fatigue, nausea, insomnia, brain fog, balance problems, and on and on will be here awhile plus there is a new cardiology problem that won't be ignored, so I have to rearrange life to run my large family.
Boundaries.

We have our first wedding coming and it is a wonderful, joyful, happy, busy occasion but with my health, my lovely husband has put boundaries on it for me. Blah....I don't want boundaries. I want to plan and plan and plan and make lists and more lists. He knows me though, and he knows I don't have the strength or stamina to do it right now so I have to enjoy watching the kids do it. 

Boundaries.

When I was growing up my mom worked for psychologists.  I learned about boundaries on behaviour early on. They are very, very important for our well being on many levels. They help us to be safe emotionally, physically and psychologically.  They give us space to think and to act appropriately.  They keep us safe after acting. Even Scripture has many, many passages on boundaries.

It's not always easy to recognize their need and they can also be difficult to construct. If you are a person who struggles with confrontation it may be difficult for you to put boundaries on other's treatment of you. There are many books, lectures, etc out there on this subject. Pick one up. Pick up a Bible and browse through the Psalms. When you learn to use boundaries there is far more peace in your life. Even when peace is disturbed, boundaries bring it back rapidly when you act to to put them up. 

Boundaries help you organize your life

Boundaries help stay calm

Boundaries help you control anger

Boundaries can help control other's anger

Boundaries help you protect yourself from those who would harm you over and over

Boundaries help you manage your time

Boundaries help you have self control

Boundaries help you help others

Boundaries help you not to be taken advantage of

The list is endless.

We have a ridiculous legal situation going on that is taking time and brain space. It is a sad spectacle of untruths and money grabbing. People suffer in this life. Everyone will suffer at some point or for long periods. Sometimes God allows it from medical reasons, a death, sometimes from accidents. Why should one get paid many thousands for so - called "pain and suffering" for one type of suffering and not the other?? A pretty profound question don't you think?? I'd like to ask that question of the many families we have lived with at Ronald McDonald House whose children suffer daily who will NEVER be paid for their pain and suffering.  Geez.....  Don't even get me started on THAT one.
Those who get paid for pain and suffering need to learn some serious Boundaries.

My tough week I hope is almost over. I have regained my peace because of God, my boundaries and because my huge family of children and their fiance's and girlfriends and my wonderful husband have come to my emotional rescue. They have been there for the difficult physical/medical week for my meltdowns and we have also laughed like crazy. They are my knights in shining armor!

~Blessings~

Lisa

Suffering at the Hands of Family: A Personal Invitation and a Gift

This is the title of a new post on one of my favorite blogs this morning. See it Here. Very appropriate. It's a must read, please take the couple minutes to read it.

Why do familes hurt one another?  Why do we as family members treat each other in a different way then we would treat a friend? (Perhaps because a friend can walk away permanently?) Why do family members feel they have the "right" to tell another in their family how or in which manner they ought to run their lives, raise their children, conduct their business, live out their faith?  Huge subjects even without someone's judgment breathing down our back eh?

How about if you are a young adult and are being judged?  So, so damaging. What if you are a young adult who is different than your parents? Oh boy.....fireworks.  What if you are a young adult and you are different, and you are being judged and you see things VERY differently?  Now it's a real mess. Are you any less of a person who has any less dignity? Are you worth less in the family?

Why must there be this sort of conflict? The problem is as old as human beings. The solution is as old as Christ. Forgiveness, understanding, trying to walk in another's shoes. 

We are not all the same. We do not all think the same.  Outside the objectively moral realm, what is right for one is not right for another. This sounds so obvious yet we try and put our idea of what we think someone's life ought to be squarely on their shoulders with the weight of a boulder. It is unfair and unkind at the least. It is full of pride.

Think about how we can make another person miserable. It does not have to be anything big. Small jabs, little criticisms, a nasty face when our approval is sought. Withholding our approval, our kindness, our love. This is serious and cruel and it certainly achieves it's desired effect.

We do not have to love everyone as in being their best friend, but we do have to love everyone in that we should not be making them miserable and we should be ready to help if necessary. Love means wanting the best for another person, wanting them to get to heaven in the end, but "the best" is not necessarily what we think is best but what God thinks is best.....keeping our own opinions out of it.....therin lies the problem within families.

Why can a family member's decisions not be respected even if they are not our own?  If they are totally different than what we might do?  Does God not achieve His mission with all different sorts of folks?  He did create all these different kinds of people after all. Is one member so much better than another that they are always right? Silly.

Okay, even if we think our opinion is the best and most important (and it is not being followed), is that worth losing relationships over? Obviously for many, many people it is. I see this often, I have done this often...too often.

So let's get this straight (insert confused face).....being RIGHT is more important than being HAPPY?   REALLY? 

Losing the happiness and peace in a family over being right is more important than accepting someone's decisions that are different than ours?  Okay...got it. Makes sense right?   NOT.

Think about it. Pray about it. Are you the perpetrator or the one judged? Or both? 

Remember you and I will spend eternity with some of the folks who either inflict this pain on you and I or on whom we inflict this pain. Oh boy.

~Blessings~

Lisa