This post has roamed around my head awhile because I don't want to use a million words and I have told this story a million times when asked why our children "only" get 3 gifts from Ed and I. I just have so much to say about it like I do everything...sorry folks I'm a wordy girl. I'll try hard to keep it as short as I can. There are many details that will get left out but here goes.
It begins with both of us being raised in divorced families where our Moms made our Christmases wonderful, never lacking anything. In my house this meant easily 10-15 presents to open on Christmas just from my Mom. It was lovely as a child but my Mother certainly did not make a lot of money and I still have to ask her how she did it. She worked very long hours and we for some years when I was small, were quite poor. I'm sure she went without. Thankfully things got much better for us as the years went by!
You know I am not sure where to even start. I am a frugal shopper so even way back when, when I only had a few children I started early. When I saw this or that on sale I would put it away for Christmas. It might be as little as a 2 or 3 dollar item I found on clearance so there was not a great deal of money spent at all. There were items that were bigger that the children wanted but nothing extravagant. I would be done with shopping and wrapped by Nov. 1 usually so Advent could be enjoyed without the stresses of shopping and wrapping. (Sort of silly after you read this whole thing). When we put the tree up, as was the case at my house as a child, there were around 15-ish gifts under the tree for each child and with a big family this was no small scene! Please remember some things were small and very inexpensive, still, it looked like a Norman Rockwell postcard except that Norman Rockwell painted during some very rough financial times in our history but it was quite beautiful! Because I was an only child of a Mom who worked very long hours, these scenes were so very, very important to me. All the Traditions of Christmas were/are.
By the time of the "revelation" we had 5 children and we had a lovely neighbor, Vinay, who was Hindu. She and her family had never experienced Christmas and she asked if she could help me and was all excited to help me "do" Christmas on Christmas Eve. I absolutely loved her and we were like little kids waiting for that evening to do this together.
Christmas Eve was always spent with the Grandparents on both sides giving and receiving gifts.....lots of gifts. Again, this was just how things were done and we didn't think about it. When the wonderful night with family, eating, visiting and gift-giving was over, we literally put 2 huge bags (you know those black lawn and garbage bags) filled with gifts into the trunk of the car and headed home.
After we got some very excited kids into bed I headed over to get Vinay and put Midnight Mass on T.V. She was absolutely enthralled by the Pope and all that was going on with that. She was like a child, always excited about everything new since her family was not from the U.S. Her family was Hindu so I explained our Catholic/Christian customs and WHO this Baby was and why He came. She was genuinely so interested in everything.
Then she was anxious to begin the more secular traditions of Christmas Eve.
Then the...revelations......began.
I took her upstairs to where the gifts were hidden and we started to take them down to the tree. We made trip after trip...after trip......after trip..........after trip. It was fun at first, then she seemed confused, then she was in shock that ALL OF THIS WAS JUST FOR OUR CHILDREN.
I was seeing all of this through the eyes of someone who had never experienced Christmas. At all. Ever. Remember..... I had just explained what it all meant in the Christian Tradition.......Ugh.
I was disgusted, I was sad, my eyes were wide open. And when she left I cried. How had I missed this? How had I fallen into this trap when my faith meant so much to me, to us as a family?
I am truly not saying anyone who buys for their children is wrong or in a trap. This is about our family and that we were doing this in excess...truly. It was ridiculous. We had pledged to live a simple life when we got married. When I saw this through someone's eyes who I had just explained my faith to, who had NO IDEA about Christmas and the Christian practice of it....it was so....well....distasteful...is all I can say. No Black Friday Sale, no buying 6 months ahead of time, no excuse mattered that night through her eyes.....it was stuff and the night was about our Baby King.
Ed and I talked about it and decided we would talk to the children and kindly, explain it to them. They played with Vinay's daughter daily and knew their family well. We wanted to know what they thought about this. Our faith was a lived, daily thing and these kids knew it. We wanted their opinion.
Anyway, the next morning, I had to pretend to have fun and I did well even as deflated as I felt. When it was all done and paper was everywhere and they were calmer we told them what happened. No guilt on them, no, none of that. Their eyes though were wide open too, like mine were the night before. I don't even know now who's idea it was but the whole family came up with the idea that Baby Jesus got three gifts on His first Christmas, gold, frankincense and myrrh.
Why should they get more than He?
That's how we came to the Tradition in our home and it has stuck ever since. They get gifts from grandparents, friends, etc. They do not need more than 3 from us. We love our tradition and it has so much meaning because of Christ and His revelation to us even if the origin looked and was so terribly selfish. It was a very good lesson learned and it will be passed down for generations I hope. I hope it is also passed down that we were not spoiling our children those years ago, but that we just let it get out of control because we loved them and that's just what was done at the time where we lived and the families we lived in. We weren't paying attention. The lesson learned though is more valuable than anything we could ever purchase and the fun is that
the story is told over and over and that is a Tradition in itself.
~Blessings~
Lisa
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