Kids like to know what's going on.
Mom's get tired of answering a million questions a day about what is happening next.
One word.....Schedules
I know, if you aren't a Type A who thrives on lists and schedules this may sound daunting. I promise it is not. Even a loose schedule results in less whining, better behavior and less real-time thinking for Mom!
Kids do better knowing what is going on and when. If breakfast is always at 8:00 they know what to expect. If the kids always go outside at 11:00 they know after they come in it's time for lunch. If they take their daily nap after lunch you will get far less whining if it's always after lunch. My Grammy used to always say in response to a "why" question, "It's the law of the land"! I used that so often when my children were younger and it always satisfied them. The attitude of, "oh well, it's just how it is" helps kids to shrug and accept.
One perk to a schedule is it allowed me to know when I would get a bit of time to myself to read, get something done or time for a phone call to a friend. I could look forward to that time each day and the break it offered. Some days it was my lifeline!!
As a natural scheduler, I always followed a daily schedule with pretty firm nap times. I had friends who were not schedule types and they frequently struggled with daily meltdowns as kids got over-tired. If naps are in stone, kids will accept them much better. Some of mine would even ask to go night-night and I would always know it must be close to 1:00PM. When kids get rest they are much more pleasant for the rest of the day.
Meals at our house were pretty much on schedule too. Once the kids could tell time it saved me answering, "What time is dinner"? 101 times a day! I also posted a menu so when they asked what was for dinner I could refer to it. When they learned to read they could just go look for themselves.
Setting up your day not only helps children, it helps Mom when the old brain feels like mush. By the middle of the week it's pretty hard to keep your brains on track if you have little ones. My menus and schedule helped me stay cheerful when I didn't always feel very cheerful.
Another thing that helped my children's behavior a lot was not over scheduling our day. I pretty much kept to an activity either morning or late afternoon (after naps) and maybe something for the family at night. Never all 3 or behaviour issues would inevitably arise. I think this is a huge issue for families now. Kids are booked like executives. Morning, afternoon, evening then falling into bed. I really think this fosters being overwhelmed and family strife as members rush around trying to meet time deadlines.
We have always had "quiet time" in our home. Every weekday the children who didn't nap had their "quiet time" where they could read, do puzzles, draw, their choice of activity as long as they were quiet. Many years ago I read a Mother Theresa quote that spoke of quiet. She felt we all needed quiet to find God and peace in our days. I know for myself, I need quiet time to re-charge and organize my thoughts. It keeps me from getting too high strung and too fast paced which results in tension with the kids. This "quiet time" worked beautifully in that all our children to this day enjoy quiet with no music or T.V. needed. This is super important in our media saturated world.
If you cannot abide schedules and they make you feel like a prisoner, maybe just scheduling naps for the same time each day will help behavior issues. Maybe just easing off on overly busy schedules will bring more peace to your home and life. Just being together is a priceless endeavor that doesn't seem to be valued as highly as achieving many things per day.
Value it.
Treasure it.
It disappears too quickly as children age and go off on their merry way.
~Blessings~
Lisa
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