Or Else.....

Do you think threatening a child to comply works?

I don't think so and it is destructive to you both.

If you are going to say," Blah, blah, blah, or else I'm going to....." You better mean it and instantly get up and do whatever your blah, blah, blah meant! Every time.

I have visited with many, many Moms over my 8 child career and they always want to know how to get children to behave.  My first answer is ALWAYS say what you mean and FOLLOW THROUGH.  That is much of the battle of well behaved kids. Consistency!

When you are consistent when they're 2 you will not have to be saying "or else" when they're 7. I promise.  I am not Super Mom and my children certainly have never been perfect but it has worked for me for 27 years with 8 buggers so I have time on my side!

I have watched countless times, a Mom sit and say to little Suzy-Q, "If you don't put that down I'm going to take it awaa-aaay (you know that sing-song oh-so-irritating way Moms give a warning). But rarely and I mean rarely will they actually get up from what they're doing to GO GET IT when Suzy-Q doesn't put it down.  It is a lot of effort to get up or walk over every time.

How about in the car, "If you guys don't stop I'm pulling over"......yeah...how many Moms do you know actually pull over and stop the car?  Not many.  It's these sorts of antics that train children to disobey or ignore you. They are not going to be compliant when they know nothing is going to happen except you saying it over and over. Big deal, say it over and over. They are experts at tuning you OUT. 

If you give some sort of order, command, lovely request, whatever you want to call it.....you'd better be prepared to get your rear off the couch and DO IT.  I'm telling you it's that simple. Irritating that you have to be a Jack-in-the-Box...yes, but simple.  You'll be shocked at how much better behaved your child is after trying it. If this is done consistently you will not have to do it later because when you say something or give an "or else" they KNOW you will do it.  Simple.

Doesn't it sound easy? Well it's not, because they only want to do naughty or unsafe things when you are writing your blog or having coffee with a friend or cooking dinner or for sure when you are on the phone!  You want to practice this new skill? Get on the phone. You know how that goes. No one cares what you're doing until you get on the phone. Even while on the phone, you must be willing to say ,"Excuse me for a second" to whoever is on the line while you handle the behaviour or you are training them to know it's a free for all when Mom's on the phone.

Simple, simple, simple.  But hard.

Moms often don't realize by their own behaviour they are training their children. If it's pointed out to them it's always a shock because normally their behaviour is a reaction not a thought-out way to handle their child's actions.  Think Moms. Do you want to be spoken to they way you speak when you need correcting?  If you are yelling, scolding, spanking because you're irritated that's not the right reason or time. By the time you are irritated the behaviour has been going on for a bit right??  It's because you've let it go and know you're ready to flip-out!

Handle it the first or second time and you won't blow a fuse ladies.

When a Mom remains in control she is much more efficient. The screaming, yelling finger pointing garbage just plain doesn't work. And if it does, it's only to shut you up.....how does that make you feel?

Follow through with instructions, commands, requests. Follow through EVERY TIME.  Your "or else's" better mean something so be careful what you say.

I promise 100% that this will help get better behaviour from your children. It just requires self discipline which is rough to come by as a Mommy of young children sometimes. Try. Try hard. It will make a difference.

~Blessings~

Lisa