An Army WIfe

This is a re-post. On this Memorial Day my friend is still in her race as a military wife but now she is in the middle of her husband's FIFTH deployment.  She is still running in marathons , still supporting the soldiers and their families and still fighting for Jeremy and his service dog. Please get a cup of coffee and read about my lovely friend and her family who have lost many soldiers and in their wonderful way support the dependents left behind.
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On this Memorial Day morning I awoke at 4 AM from medical mumbo going on and finally gave up sleeping and turned on the computer to Facebook. The first post I saw was from my friend who is the organizer for a run in her hometown of Yelm, WA, called Wear Blue Run to Remember. It honors those soldiers fallen in defense of our country. It's held today on Memorial Day and she was up at 3:45 AM preparing.

She has been running all week for the fallen soldiers she and her husband were honored to know and love and for those they never knew. That's the military life. They stick together to remember.

Wear Blue To Remember 2014

The friend above I have known for many years. She's an Army Wife. I capitalize that because I consider it a title. A title difficult to possess. She would not agree. She would say it was her choice, her honor, her duty and her Call from God.

This is what is on her blog.....

Lord grant me the greatness of heart to see,
The difference in duty and his love for me.Give me the understanding to know,
That when duty calls he must go.Give me a task to do each day,
To fill the time when he is away.And Lord, when duty is in the field,
Please protect him and be his shield

When I met Amanda she was our new next door neighbor with 4 little boys and a handsome, tall, quiet, soldier husband, Paul. We became fast friends being Moms of many boys, Christians and both deeply committed to family life. The kids played, we visited, had coffee and we shared the bond that we had, big families and children with serious medical issues.

Then came 911.
Then Paul was deployed to Iraq on the front lines with a Stryker unit. Deep breath. We watched how the family prepared. How they had to get their affairs in order just in case.....  My husband shook Paul's hand the night before he deployed and told him we would watch over his family. We shared a tiny part of their sacrifice. 

That year was so stinkin' hard on them. She was amazing, the kids missed their Daddy terribly but their lives went on. Amanda took on things I am sure she never thought she could. She endured. Sitting nights making a beautiful scrap book for Paul and not sleeping.  She waited for the knock, knock, knock sound on her computer to tell her Paul was online and therefore alive.  She took care of and schooled 4 little boys alone. She kept house, paid bills, made meals, went to church....
 and endured some more.

I am not an army gal but have grown up around the military all my life having been born in a town with a large army base, Fort Ord, then moving to another state and town with another base, Joint Base Lewis McChord. I have always loved military families but not living on the inside, cannot ever understand their unique lives.

I'm writing because I admire the transformation of my friend from a young, green Army wife to a warrior. Yes, her husband, after now 5 deployments...yes FIVE of a year or more since the war began, is definitely a warrior but she too shares that title. Through those 5 deployments and the joy and difficulty of him coming home, she is now someone who has run the family support groups, been in charge of home coming celebrations, funerals and supported other wives during their grief over losing their husbands and much more. She embraced this military life and gives back.

Amanda has grown into a rock for other wives and families. She knows the ropes and shares the way. She mentors and hopes the young wives will "get it" and learn to be strong through their fear and worry and sometimes grief.

I think of her often when I see anything patriotic. Our family has prayed a bazillion prayers for their family while Paul was deployed. I have just random thoughts from a non-military brain that don't fit into paragraphs......

* How on earth do you say goodbye and watch your spouse leave for a war zone?


*How do you tell the kids he's going AGAIN?
 

* How do you deal with your children's fears and insecurities and anger when you yourself are trying to do the same?
 

*How do you wait, wait, then wait some more for the computer to tell you he's online waiting to communicate? The waiting.....
 

*How do you hear the T.V. news and the always negative garbage spewing from them regarding our military without becoming resentful?
 

*How do you see the other families in church with their Daddys and keep smiling?
 

*How do you raise 4 little (now BIG) rambunctious boys with all their dirt, toys, arguing and markers on the wall, (now driving and college apps) alone?
 

*How do you sleep when you know there could be a knock on the door anytime with no warning?
 

*How do you pay bills with the ridiculous salary the army pays, yet you are giving your all to them?
 

*How do you sit in the hospital with a child having seizure after seizure without his Daddy?
 

*How do you get ready for Christmas, birthdays and summer BBQs without him years at a time?
 

*How do you both live life in the now yet constantly live for his homecoming?
 

*How do you deal with the husband who returns who is not the man who left? War has changed him and you have been warned.
 

*How do you let go and do it all again and again and again?

    I could go on and on. I do not know how military wives do it. They are a special breed of brave, those who do this well and stay in and keep intact families. They, too, deserve our patriotic cheers and thank yous and support. I couldn't do it. Therein lies the secret.  I am not asked to do it. It is their Call. God has called them to a very unique and difficult life that is many times not their own. But He is there to support and hand out bravery, grace, confidence and see the tears.

   The gal I met 13 years ago is so darn far from the woman who now stands confident and sure and graceful. She has endured and grown and laughed and cried and stood by her soldier. She is the All American Wife and Mom. If you care to go through the last couple deployments you can read  Amanda's blog.  It's rough and lovey at the same time.

So....today on Memorial Day I am so, so thankful I do not have to mourn with her. After/during  five long deployments and losing many buddies and his own men, Paul is still with us, along with several Bronze Stars. He is a man his sons are proud of, a man with an impeccable military record. He wouldn't like me writing that, but oh well. We are honored to know a family like this because they are what America stands for....why America stands at all. 

~Blessings~

Lisa