Doctors Are People Too

I am good at a few things but what I am exceptionally good at and it is my primary talent.......

 Being a patient and the mom of many patients. Aren't you super impressed?? With this talent I live in doctor's offices, hospitals, operating rooms, infusion centers, pharmacies and labs. 

I did not ask for this talent. 

I do not resent this talent. I accept it like I do all of God's gift's to me.

I don't normally whine about it although every once in a while I do sniffle and feel sorry for myself.

I often laugh about my talent, am quite proud of it but I don't really have a way to show it off.

I share my talent with those who are new to the medical way of life and are shell shocked.

What I also do (with a raised eyebrow) is get very defensive about doctors. 

I do this because     1.)   doctors get bashed constantly and much of the time it is unfair    2.) I have several friends who are doctors so I have an insider's perspective.   3.)  There is a new movement that medicine is this covert operation by the government to hurt people.

Physicians are often misunderstood. Now mind you I am not in their social or economic class so please do not think I defend on that basis. We are SO not there in this family!  It is because we live in the same medical world with them. We speak the same language and spend waaaaay too much time together that I have any knowledge at all on this subject.

I realize there are stinker doctors. I know there are arrogant, rude, know-it-all jerks who deserve a smack-down. We call them god-doctors with a small "g".  They fancy themselves as god and they are scary. I have met them, I have been put down by them and I do not return to their offices. I have wanted to run from them while in the hospital under their care. I have had them taken off the care of my children because I didn't think they had their best interest at heart, so I know what it is to come face to face with a stinker.  I am not a ninny who is blind regarding an unkind physician who doesn't care about humankind.

However, most physicians are good folks. They chose this field because they want to do something good, to help people, to make the world a better place, many feel called to a life of service and sacrifice.

Do they get disillusioned? Do they get beaten down? Do they become exhausted and over worked and tired of the governmental and hospital administrative cogwheel that beats them down?  Oh, you bet. I know enough physicians and have enough friends that are physicians and let me tell you it's not what it's cracked up to be from the outside.

Physicians do want to change the world and make it a better place and they do have that power but they are also just people. They are not God, they are not magicians. They cannot make everything disappear with a pill or scalpel. Antibiotics do not cure every ill nor does the latest homeopathic remedy or vitamin. Medicine is as much art as it is science. 

Dr. Robert Lester III
It's ridiculous I can't even find a professional picture of Dr. Bob.

Only flying ones...he'll like that!  That's Mike with him.

Our wonderful amazing pediatrician taking the kids flying. Before your jaw drops, he shares this plane with several other doctors!  He is a good friend and great physician. He is however obsessed with flying. The kids could be turning blue and he would somehow get flying in on the conversation!! Sorry Bob!

Did you know a doctor has bad days? This sounds stupidly obvious, but if you go for an appointment and it has gone sour does that ever enter your mind as you leave madder than a hornet? His kids get sick, his family has hardships, he has stresses just like you do. He may have elderly parents who are ill. My friend who is a pediatrician would be on call all night, see little patients all morning, run to the hospital to see his elderly mother and have lunch with her on his lunch break, then back to the office for patients all afternoon then rounds in the evening. After all that he goes home to his family (a wife and 3 kids) so he can be on call all night again....then start all over again a few hours later. 

When should he spend all his so-called riches??? People do not often think about how a physician makes their income, how it feels to lose a patient, how it feels to make a human mistake.

Really....think about this for a minute. I am a Mom. I believe this is the most important job in the world. I form the hearts and minds of my children every day. If I make a mistake all I have to do is say sorry. If I am a pediatrician and write the wrong dose of meds or if I am a surgeon.... a neurosurgeon or a cardiac surgeon and I make a mistake......ummmm now what?  Human beings make mistakes right?  Not in the U.S. that means a lawsuit folks. It isn't just sorry, I made one mistake. Sorry your child is dead or handicapped, and even if it isn't that serious it is a huge deal. Think about the pain and guilt of the physician. Most folks don't make it that far. It's doctor bashing and many times a legal issue because of the ridiculous world we live in. Remember this is his or her job. Do you EVER make a mistake at your job???  It is not easy being a physician. 

Not all doctors are rich. Take a primary care physician.They may have more income than you but their college loans (not just 4 years folks), malpractice insurance, insurance premiums for their employees (and their own families), and overhead in general for even a modest practice would shock you. They get paid at an outrageously lower level than a specialist yet they are generally the air traffic controller of the same patient which requires a great deal of work (that is not reimbursed) behind the scenes. They do all the work before and after the patient sees the specialist with a tiny fraction of the pay. I live in this world daily, I get the bills...it is truly financially unjust in many ways.
Plus they are the hands-on, familiar face the patient knows and trusts when they are concerned, frightened, angry, etc. 

We also know many specialists, some the top in their fields and we have some awesome ones. Our hero is our neurosurgeon, the one pictured below. This surgeon sacrifices for his patients monetarily and with his reputation as he fights for their care at the hospital where he works and at other institutions across this country. He creates teams of doctors to work on patients others are afraid to work on because of our rare disorders. He has fought in courtrooms for parents who have lost their children, he has paid for life flights for patients who couldn't afford it, he consulted with a doctor in China for one of my pediatrician's nieces at no fee. I could write a book on his charitable works.  He would wave his hand and tell me to shut up in his Italian accent!  I smile just writing that.

 He is an amazing man. He has a sense, a gut feeling about things that is super natural. He has operated on our family more than 20 times and has yet to be wrong. It is uncanny. This takes a dedication, a sacrifice that leaves him missing many things in his and his family's life. He is constantly at the hospital and in the O.R. He travels the world teaching at conferences. He answers e-mails 7 days a week and I have received them at 2 or 3 am ! This time he takes is not paid.

Love this man.  Dr. Paolo Bolognese

His dedication and sacrifice has changed the lives of several of our children....

And myself

Yes, he's nuts. This is after our daughter Mary's surgery. She's in ICU and there seems to be a party going on!

 He loves the kids and always entertains.

The man thinks outside the box for his patients because we have diseases that are rare. He gets what he calls the "train wrecks". People who have multiple disorders and diseases that are very complicated and they have been misdiagnosed for years. Many have been operated on by those who did not understand their complexities and have become much worse by the time they get to him. He will sit and listen because he knows people need him. For him to sit is particularly funny because he is super high energy. He doesn't even know how to walk, he run-walks everywhere. It's really scary to think he's in the O.R. for such long periods of time as a brain surgeon. Our last 2 neuro surgeries on our twins were 9 hours and 13 hours!! How he manages that with his crazy energy is miraculous. He has the concentration of...well...a brain surgeon!

Being a doctor in today's world also requires amazing patience. People come in after having been on the internet thinking they know exactly what they have. There is a depth to medicine that takes years of training to understand. Folks will get labs back and look up a high or low level and think they're seriously ill when the level means nothing. Levels are compared to other levels. They mean something only in light of something else.  The biochemistry of the body is complex and changes depending on many variables. No computer can give the answers. A physician must compete with what a patient thinks they know, having to explain why their new found knowledge is incorrect, putting the patient on the defensive. Is this a difficult or arrogant doctor?  No.   Information is wonderful but patients go in with their pistols drawn ready to shoot. The poor doctors are immediately on the defensive these days as are the patients when they walk in! It's rough out there.

Our family lives in the medical world constantly. In fact I am writing from Hematology/Oncology at Seattle Children's right now.  Our doctors here as well as our wonderful pediatrician, family doc and our specialists back east go out of their way to make our lives better, easier, funnier. They do special things for us, call us from their homes, bring us things from trips, email us and check on our family. I could go on and on. I get so weary of doctor bashing. Maybe the old saying "You can catch more flies with honey then vinegar" should be considered by more families.  Well....and bring baked goodies or a little treat to appointments!  I do understand there are stinkers but let them go and find the good guys. 

I could write an entire book on the amazing things doctors do for patients. They're everywhere in your city, in your town, in your doctor's office. It's sort of like soldiers......They don't talk about their good deeds, they don't advertise it. They just do it. Every day.  

Try going in to your next doctor's appointment with a huge smile, a cute joke, ask about the doctor's family. Don't assume he's God, don't assume she knows everything. She wants to help you.  If she is rude or short you might want to try again just in case it was a bad day and something in their life was difficult maybe a death or divorce or their own health problems. If there is a second bad impression go somewhere else.  I do recommend though that you write a kind but firm letter about why you are leaving. I say kind and firm because this will help you feel heard and it may help the next patient. It's important. 

Get references from friends. The best ones are from nurses. They know doctors from the inside out. If you know any ask their opinion. They know how doctors treat patients and how they treat their nurses.....very important. Nurses know what goes on behind the scenes and this says a lot. If a nurse (and even better a few nurses) likes a physician you know they are good.

Please remember what you perceive as a physician's life is not what it is in actuality. Try and really think about what medical school, residency, being on call all night or many in a row, daily rounds at a hospital, 13 hour surgeries, missed holidays, missed birthdays, etc. really is for dedicated doctors. The 8-5 hours your family doctor sees you is only a fraction of his or her work day folks ...only a fraction! Yes, they may enjoy higher salaries but there is a price to be paid not only by them but by their families. 

They save our lives. They save our children's lives.They are the ones we anxiously wait for while our loved ones are in the O.R. They are the ones who we call when our babies are sick in the middle of the night and we are in a panic. Let's appreciate them more and bash a little less.

~Blessings~

Lisa