On Kindness

Growing up I never, ever, ever saw my Mother be unkind. She was always kind and well mannered to everyone she came in contact with regardless of their disposition towards her.  Without ever knowing when or where or how it happened I learned that kindness goes a loooooong way.

It is natural to me to try and be kind to those I meet in a day because I am a people person. Am I always kind…..um, no. However, I try and make it my norm and I believe it changes hearts, days, people.  It is easy to change someone’s day simply by smiling and being kind when they are not. It seems to mean more when they are not. When a stranger is grouchy, sad, even mean, this spurs me on to try and change their demeanor.  It is something to conquer, someone to win over and I love it.  It is very, very rare for me to lose a grump over to themselves.  If a smile and “How’s your day going?” doesn’t do it, then I try and commiserate with them; “It looks like a ton of customers have gone through here today. What a nightmare, you probably can’t wait to get off the clock.” or a genuine compliment and letting them know life can be hard and the day is almost over.  It rarely fails to elicit a smile.

I have been on the receiving end of kindness many times. One that stands out though, is when I had miscarried our baby and was waiting to go into surgery.  A nurse who overheard we had 8 living children walked over and was very rude about the number of children we had.  The nurse who remained was mortified and apologized. I asked for the charge nurse and kindly asked her to tell the rude nurse, word for word, ” Please know that there won’t be a 9 th Currall Baby because she is dead. ” To my surprise, the charge nurse actually told her then returned with a beautiful Miraculous Medal ( a medal with the Blessed Mother Mary on it) that she pinned on my patient bracelet. She wanted me to know she’d be praying while I was in surgery.  She also said she would make sure our baby’s remains were handled with care as they went to the lab.  I was so touched, so thankful and so emotional.  Had the rude nurse not been rude none of those comforts would have been there for me.  God uses everything.

The rude nurse?  She ended up taking care of me in the kindest, sweetest manner and because I reacted kindly in return, she was sorrowful at her lack of kindness and empathy for our family at such a hard time.  Every one's defenses were securely locked away. When she’d heard the size of our family it was during intake and she didn’t know why I was there.  God provided for everyone that day and because we all practiced some sort of kindness, we were rewarded and learned our own lessons.

Are you ever kind in return for a rude comment or gesture?  Do we react poorly because we want to defend ourselves or do we take the high road thinking of the other person and responding with kindness keeping in mind it may be a hard day for them?

Are we unkind because we feel judged?  Because we are in mourning or have been rejected?  How about financial issues, rebellious children issues or illness?  When we react with kindness regardless of someone's first actions, we have a good chance of changing their day even for a few minutes.

This has become a sort of hobby for me because I love people and am a people person. I have gained some wonderful friends practicing my hobby; friends who might be labeled “difficult”.

This hobby is particularly helpful because of the vast amount of medical personnel we deal with.  These folks have very stressful jobs especially in a Children’s hospital.  I rarely give up on any grumpy person and it always pays off for both of us.  Just to convey understanding that what they do is difficult can open someone up like a flower.  Folks feel taken for granted and to express understanding can break the shell of the hardest egg.  Even if I don’t do what they do or understand their crosses they carry, to try and put myself in their shoes goes a loooooong way and costs me nothing.

How about kindness in our families?  Do we treat others better than we treat our own family? Do we speak to our kids the way we would speak to a neighbor’s children?  We should never say something to our own child we wouldn’t say to our best friend’s child.  Do we have kind words for our spouse?  Do we have kind words for ourselves?

Kindness is something….

That can be practiced by any type of person, outgoing or shy, young or old

That is free

That is easy

That can be done many times a day

That always comes back to you

That represents God

That is always positive even if we don’t get a positive response

 That costs nothing but our will

 That we should teach our children by example.

   I sometimes feel sad that we live in a world that is so busy and fast paced, with heads and eyes down, looking at phones.  Look up today, smile, and if you’re feeling brave say something nice to someone in a store or at the office or best of all to your family.  We can change the world one person at a time….but mostly we change ourselves.

~Blessings~

 Lisa