Entitlement

Where have we derived the idea that we as a society are entitled to something? Why as a person does someone feel entitled to something?  

Have you ever read the book The Greatest Generation? I don't think there is a single word in that book that smacks of entitlement. Where did that attitude go folks???  Where did that git-er-done spirit go?

Why do we have so many whiny, depressed, pitiful, lazy, folks these days? People who think someone owes them something? They are everywhere. Sit somewhere sometime where you can just listen to people talk and you will get an earful. I was writing a blog on having a grateful spirit, a thankful heart but this one just sort of took over after several incidents. 

I grew up in a grateful home with a mother who literally preached gratitude. Gratitude for everything no matter how small or insignificant. I heard about my grandparents and how hard they worked, about the Depression, about the ration stamps and about the happiness they had in spite of it all because they persevered. Hard work, working together, sacrificing is what made them happy. Not running away from it like many folks are apt to do today. 

Today the goal of the day seems to be gratifying oneself even at the expense of others. That after a day's work one deserves to play, one deserves to have time to relax or be alone or do whatever one wants to. This was NOT the attitude in the days past. Not at all. I realize this is not everyone but it's a trend I'm talking about....self before others. The opposite of how things were just a couple of generations ago in this wonderful country.

I sat in a state office recently and listened to people tell one another how to work "the system". It was so disheartening. 

I was in line at the grocery store and watched someone who had a state card buying groceries. I am not judging that aspect as I know that it is certainly needed by some folks especially in this bad economy. What I wonder about is everything bought was pre-packaged and ready to eat and very expensive. I have a large family and could have fed my family for a week from scratch on what those few items cost. Maybe they were not taught to cook. Maybe they were tired and over worked. But I do see this all the time. I frequently see this when I have all generic food in my cart, things I cook from scratch so I can save money because my husband works so hard and I don't want to waste his hard earned money.

I listen to people complain they don't have enough yet have smart phones, have cable, have huge car payments. These are luxuries not necessities. If you make enough money to easily have them....great!!! If you do not they are NOT necessities folks. What the average American thinks is a need is not, it's a want, a luxury. 

We are a spoiled, entitled country. We have spent enough time in NYC with families from all over the world who know real need. They know real gratitude and are amazed by our lack of it here and tell us so. One lovely little girl from Afghanistan would get into the shower 3-4 times a day because she could not believe that water actually came out of the wall! This, from the child of a pharmacist....not a peasant.  We loved it and it reminded us how fortunate we are. They were constantly grateful for every little thing.

Today I was at physical therapy with the boys. When it was my turn Scott started laughing because he could see the boys in the car fighting. He thought it was hilarious because they are pretty quiet around him even though they've known him since they were 6 yrs old after their spinal cord surgeries. He kept staring at them then looked back at me and I couldn't help the tears running down my face. He knew why. He said," It's because they can fight now huh?" I could only nod. 

Eight months ago Bobby was laying in PICU on a ventilator after 13 hours in the O.R. I was standing next to his bed, bald, with stitches from my 4th brain surgery only 2 weeks earlier. His chest was artificially going up and down with that horrible sound. Ed watched from right behind me, helpless, because I had had no time to recover and he could not help me or his son. Steven was back at Ronald McDonald House recovering from his 9 hour brain surgery the week before.  The man had no control over his own family that he loves so much. He was helpless. It was the hardest night we have spent and it got harder as Bobby crashed and all the meds had to be turned off and he woke up with the ventilator still in, staring at us, so frightened. We had to be strong and peppy and in control for that boy. He was first...not our fear, not our held back tears....not our terror. We babbled happily like idiots, trying to be cheery as he tried to write on a notepad.....
"I'm choking".
 I still have that paper with the shaky writing.

In this hardship, were we entitled to anything? Maybe comfort from the awesome nurses we have known forever and were so good to Bobby that night and our wonderful friends at Ronald McDonald House. Maybe comfort from others who suffer and understand. We cannot even afford counseling to go through the process of that night. Ed and I still cannot talk about it without tears even though we have worked through it a hundred times. We have been in peds ICU so many times we've lost count. No amount of money, no material goods, no stuff, no houses, no cars, no salons, no vacations, NOTHING can be as wonderful as those two boys fighting and wrestling and riding bikes and being ALIVE after multiple brain and spinal cord surgeries even if they are not medically perfect......

And we are thankful and grateful and we are entitled to NOTHING except our choosing to be happy. Scott knew this today because he saw them before their surgeries. He knew what they had been and the pain they had been in and will always be in. He knows they will suffer always but they have the guts and the determination to keep going because we have trained them since they were little to suffer well and not to take prisoners. Things happen in life to make you a better person.

Is it easy?? Nope. But we hope it will serve them and others well. We have watched others take prisoners and it isn't pretty. If we do nothing else for these kids, that is what we want to accomplish. We never want them to feel entitled since they have so many disorders/ diseases. We want them to know many people suffer and theirs isn't any worse than someone else's. God has made them just the way they are and they must do the best they can with the circumstances they have been given...period. 

I hope, I wish.....I pray this could be another Greatest Generation but with the entitlement mentality going around it ain't lookin' pretty.  It's funny how when we have a natural disaster and folks don't have their "stuff" everyone seems to get nicer and helpful. The pretenses fall away, the competition with the Joneses is not quite so important. This happens too in the hospital when we're there. That is one of the blessings of a medical life.

~Blessings~

Lisa